SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS ANXIETY-HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Supporting a loved one experiencing anxiety can feel hard when you don’t know what to say or what helpful tools to offer. Someone struggling with anxiety may often have ruminating thoughts and worry the worst will happen in situations that spike their nerves. These worries may seem irrational to others, but these fears feel very real to your loved one.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects 6.8 million adults in the United States with women being twice as likely to be affected than men. While researchers do not know the exact cause of GAD, it is presumed that a combination of genetic, biological and environmental factors play a significant role. For example, someone is more likely to develop GAD if a first-degree biological relative like a parent has it and their chances increase if they are raised in a stressful environment or experience a traumatic event. Symptoms can include excessive worry that is disproportionate to the events at hand and inability to let go of these worries, difficulty concentrating, indecisiveness, and struggling to handle uncertainty. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, trouble sleeping and breathing, dizziness, increased heart rate, headaches, sweating, and irritability.
If your loved one is struggling with symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, here are some of the top ways you can provide support.
1. Listen with Empathy and Validate their Feelings
People struggling with anxiety often have fears about the past or future and these worries can quickly build up, making their unhelpful thoughts feel out of control and lead to spiraling. This sense of overwhelm can negatively impact many areas of their life including work, relationships, and self-care. It can feel burdensome to carry these worries on their own. Therefore, you can help relieve some of this burden by providing your loved one with a safe and nonjudgmental space to process their emotions. Even if you feel their fears are unwarranted, it’s important to express empathy, listen with curiosity and validate their feelings. Providing some reassurance can help calm their nervous system. As their thoughts begin to slow down, they may feel better equipped to approach the situations that are worrying them with a more clear and balanced mindset.
2. Be Patient and Don’t Dismiss their Worries
It may seem obvious not to dismiss your loved one’s feelings, but when their worries seem excessive, you might be quick to tell them phrases like “There’s nothing to worry about” or “Calm down”. While you may see the big picture of the situation they are worrying about and strongly believe their worries are not likely to come true, your loved one may feel otherwise. Invalidating your loved one’s feelings will only worsen their anxiety. Staying patient and showing compassion by letting them know you are there for them will ease their anxiety and allow them to think of how to use their coping skills. When it seems like they may need more help, you can always suggest reaching out to a professional-you are part of their supportive circle (not their therapist).
3. Don’t Enable their Safety Behaviors like Avoidance
While you want your loved one to feel safe and calm, you don’t want them to entirely avoid their anxiety triggers at all times either. Avoidance of anxiety provoking situations can reinforce their anxiety. Therefore, if you notice they are seeking constant reassurance from you (another safety behavior) and avoiding their triggers and this is significantly affecting their quality of life, you can gently encourage them to take small steps to expose themselves to their fears.
4. Encourage Self-Care
People with anxiety can often become so consumed with their worries that they may begin to forget to take care of themselves emotionally and physically. Therefore, it can be useful to remind your loved one to eat nourishing meals, limit their caffeine and alcohol intake, get adequate sleep, and to take time to do things they enjoy like listening or dancing to music, making art, reading or other activities that allow them to destress.
5. Suggest Seeing a Therapist
While you can offer your loved one some support, if their anxiety is pervasive and impacting multiple areas of their life, they may benefit from seeing a therapist who can offer evidence-based treatment and provide a consistent weekly time for them to work on managing their anxiety. You can encourage them to make an appointment with a therapist who specializes in anxiety and frame going to therapy as a way to take care of themselves, obtain immediate emotional relief, and practice tools that can help foster healing and positive change in their life.